Monday, August 22, 2011
A Prince Bides His Time
These are songs I've written. They are about things. I write them for reasons.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Shining Skulls - Destroy Your Self
Destroy Your Self, the debut album by Seattle’s The Shining Skulls is an album that walks the line between perfectly polished and radio ready and needing to be listened to alone through headphones.
Benjamin Trimpe has managed to accomplish something rare in his first attempt behind the boards. The mix here is highly impressive. For an album that involves so much atmosphere and texture, there is never a point where sounds are struggling for space. There is a clarity and direction with each track. This is easily going to be one of the better sounding albums you will hear this year.
In concerns to the songs, expect to hear oceanic rock music with natural pop sensibility. The rises and falls of the songs are well constructed. They build and build, and explode when you want them to, but avoid predictability and formulaic cliches. It is clear that each of the members have been around the block a few times, as there are no meddling attempts at finding a sound, which typically will drag down debut releases.
I’m fortunate enough to have a friendship with Benjamin, and have some knowledge of the process that took place during the recording of this album. I have such a high level of admiration for someone that sets out to take on a project of this magnitude on their own dime, and to put forth the hours upon hours that it takes to learn your way in the studio. I know of the struggle with the sounds you have, and the sounds you’ll be capable of tomorrow, and I can tell that all of the time and patience that went into this record have paid dividends. This album is a professional product. This album is ready to be heard by the masses, and deserves to be. The songs are varied and have something to offer fans of multiple genres. Getting bored is not something you’ll need to concern yourself with. When this album comes out, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy.
The Shining Skulls are playing their release show on August 13th at the High Dive. If you are in or near Seattle, I recommend you come join me there. I have no doubts you will leave having had your body sufficiently rocked.
Keep up on The Shining Skulls at: http://www.facebook.com/theshiningskulls
Benjamin Trimpe has managed to accomplish something rare in his first attempt behind the boards. The mix here is highly impressive. For an album that involves so much atmosphere and texture, there is never a point where sounds are struggling for space. There is a clarity and direction with each track. This is easily going to be one of the better sounding albums you will hear this year.
In concerns to the songs, expect to hear oceanic rock music with natural pop sensibility. The rises and falls of the songs are well constructed. They build and build, and explode when you want them to, but avoid predictability and formulaic cliches. It is clear that each of the members have been around the block a few times, as there are no meddling attempts at finding a sound, which typically will drag down debut releases.
I’m fortunate enough to have a friendship with Benjamin, and have some knowledge of the process that took place during the recording of this album. I have such a high level of admiration for someone that sets out to take on a project of this magnitude on their own dime, and to put forth the hours upon hours that it takes to learn your way in the studio. I know of the struggle with the sounds you have, and the sounds you’ll be capable of tomorrow, and I can tell that all of the time and patience that went into this record have paid dividends. This album is a professional product. This album is ready to be heard by the masses, and deserves to be. The songs are varied and have something to offer fans of multiple genres. Getting bored is not something you’ll need to concern yourself with. When this album comes out, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy.
The Shining Skulls are playing their release show on August 13th at the High Dive. If you are in or near Seattle, I recommend you come join me there. I have no doubts you will leave having had your body sufficiently rocked.
Keep up on The Shining Skulls at: http://www.facebook.com/theshiningskulls
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Kelli Schaefer - Ghost of the Beast
Kelli Schaefer has been on my radar for a while now, thanks to Lukas Williams. However, like most things, I have to be reminded many times to finally get around to checking out new music. After seeing Schaefer pop-up on NPR, I decided it was finally time to pay attention and listen to more than the brief appearance of Sister K in the Columbia City Theatre advertisements.
From the start of Ghost of the Beast, percussive flourishes steal your attention, forcing you into the songs. They can be a bit discomforting, as they create scenes. In the title track, you feel dragged through the song. Being forced to be an active listener. You become the protagonist. Schaefer’s ability to cause the listener to feel this connection is unique, and something that should be (and is being) paid attention.
The production on this album is so consistent, and the songs have a beautiful flow from one to the other. This is an album. Something that I fear is becoming a lost art. I’m becoming worn out by collections of singles, and find myself so refreshed by a carefully constructed record. It is an art that not many can execute with such seeming ease. With this record it is found by way of atmospherics (i.e. the aforementioned percussion) that tie a thread. This is then amplified by impressively restrained musicianship. There is never a point where it feels that any element is superfluous, and the statements made by each instrument are that much stronger for it.
And, yet, I still haven’t even mentioned Kelli’s voice. There is a rare talent here. The ability to sound so vulnerable at times, to sound as if she’s on the verge of breaking; only to follow with an intensity that shows just how strong of a vocalist we’re dealing with. Few singers have this kind of talent. Even fewer can demand your attention this consistently regardless the tone of the song.
I had the pleasure of seeing Kelli Schaefer play the Noise for the Needy show at Conor Byrne this past Friday. It was one of those shows where you feel like you’re witnessing something. I cannot recommend enough that you take the time to listen to her. And, if you’re lucky enough, see her live.
Bellow are links to her music as well as her facebook page:
www.kellischaefer.bandcamp.com
http://www.facebook.com/iamkellischaefer
From the start of Ghost of the Beast, percussive flourishes steal your attention, forcing you into the songs. They can be a bit discomforting, as they create scenes. In the title track, you feel dragged through the song. Being forced to be an active listener. You become the protagonist. Schaefer’s ability to cause the listener to feel this connection is unique, and something that should be (and is being) paid attention.
The production on this album is so consistent, and the songs have a beautiful flow from one to the other. This is an album. Something that I fear is becoming a lost art. I’m becoming worn out by collections of singles, and find myself so refreshed by a carefully constructed record. It is an art that not many can execute with such seeming ease. With this record it is found by way of atmospherics (i.e. the aforementioned percussion) that tie a thread. This is then amplified by impressively restrained musicianship. There is never a point where it feels that any element is superfluous, and the statements made by each instrument are that much stronger for it.
And, yet, I still haven’t even mentioned Kelli’s voice. There is a rare talent here. The ability to sound so vulnerable at times, to sound as if she’s on the verge of breaking; only to follow with an intensity that shows just how strong of a vocalist we’re dealing with. Few singers have this kind of talent. Even fewer can demand your attention this consistently regardless the tone of the song.
I had the pleasure of seeing Kelli Schaefer play the Noise for the Needy show at Conor Byrne this past Friday. It was one of those shows where you feel like you’re witnessing something. I cannot recommend enough that you take the time to listen to her. And, if you’re lucky enough, see her live.
Bellow are links to her music as well as her facebook page:
www.kellischaefer.bandcamp.com
http://www.facebook.com/iamkellischaefer
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Shining Skulls - Demos
The Shining Skulls are preparing the release of their first full-length album. Today, they’ve released some demo’s of said release.
Here is a link to some tracks, once I have access to the full album, expect a write up.
Initially, I feared the record would come off with the feel of a mix-tape after seeing their live shows because of the multiple front man approach. However, if these demos are any indication, there is a well developed sense of atmosphere that make these tracks massive and play well with one another.
Ben, I raise my glass to you, buddy. I look forward to the day we get to work together.
Here is a link to some tracks, once I have access to the full album, expect a write up.
Initially, I feared the record would come off with the feel of a mix-tape after seeing their live shows because of the multiple front man approach. However, if these demos are any indication, there is a well developed sense of atmosphere that make these tracks massive and play well with one another.
Ben, I raise my glass to you, buddy. I look forward to the day we get to work together.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Youth Rescue Mission
To be upfront and honest, I am friends with the members of Youth Rescue Mission. Because of this, I was a bit hesitant to write about their record. I was struggling with the idea of how to avoid faint praise or needless jabs to avoid sounding biased. I also know that it can be difficult to separate friendship and fandom. In order to combat these potential pratfalls in this regard, I’ve decided that the best way to provide an overview of this album is to use analogous writing. So, I’ll do my best to try and make my summation of the album relatable via this tact.
I think the best way to think about Youth Rescue Missions self-titled debut is to think about a shirt you’ve owned for a prolonged period of time. Not just any shirt, but one that gets frequent wearings.
With this album, the first thing many will be drawn to are the beautifully executed harmonies. Think of this as the graphic of the previously mentioned shirt. The instant aesthetic gratification of perfectly executed harmonization is enough to draw you in. It provides a comfort through warmth, but also something pretty to show off. You want to tell all your friends about it, wear it out in public, and bask in the complements of your new find. However, like all things initially pleasing in an aesthetic sense, it runs the risk of fading- losing appeal through repeated wear.
Thankfully, Youth Rescue Mission is able to ward off the risk of becoming fodder of a fad. There is enough nuance in these songs that will make themselves apparent through further listens. Little ticks such as a brief banjo line. Or a twinkling of keys that don’t repeat. A movement by the vocals low in the mix, something you hear, but isn’t forced on you.
One of the ways this is also addressed is by way of track listing. The album begins with an introduction track, which is a nice way of drawing in initial interest, but not giving away much, if anything, about what you’re about to experience. Then Problem Solver starts in. The track is jaunty and a bit nervous. After this, the album mellows out from Floorplan through Very Nice Things, then we get another blast of uptempo nerves with Stumblin’ Man.
On first listen, I felt that these tracks felt disjointed and fractured with the rest of the album. I was struggling to see how they belonged with the smooth, vocal driven tracks. I enjoyed Daniel’s songs on their own, but was having difficulty with understanding their place within the context of the album.
I started to go back to the analogy of an old shirt. Thinking of Daniel’s songs as an odd seam on the cuff of a sleeve. Something that inspector 33 failed to notice. But after repeated wearings, it develops charm. It becomes an identifying factor. Something that keeps things interesting because of the break from the norm.
I’ve spent a lot of time with this record at this point, and much like a shirt that makes it’s way into frequent wardrobe rotation, it is a source of comfort. It’s found a way to stick around even after the initial draw has become less of a focus. Everything has it’s place, each song belong to the others.
www.youthrescuemission.com
http://www.facebook.com/youthrescuemission
I think the best way to think about Youth Rescue Missions self-titled debut is to think about a shirt you’ve owned for a prolonged period of time. Not just any shirt, but one that gets frequent wearings.
With this album, the first thing many will be drawn to are the beautifully executed harmonies. Think of this as the graphic of the previously mentioned shirt. The instant aesthetic gratification of perfectly executed harmonization is enough to draw you in. It provides a comfort through warmth, but also something pretty to show off. You want to tell all your friends about it, wear it out in public, and bask in the complements of your new find. However, like all things initially pleasing in an aesthetic sense, it runs the risk of fading- losing appeal through repeated wear.
Thankfully, Youth Rescue Mission is able to ward off the risk of becoming fodder of a fad. There is enough nuance in these songs that will make themselves apparent through further listens. Little ticks such as a brief banjo line. Or a twinkling of keys that don’t repeat. A movement by the vocals low in the mix, something you hear, but isn’t forced on you.
One of the ways this is also addressed is by way of track listing. The album begins with an introduction track, which is a nice way of drawing in initial interest, but not giving away much, if anything, about what you’re about to experience. Then Problem Solver starts in. The track is jaunty and a bit nervous. After this, the album mellows out from Floorplan through Very Nice Things, then we get another blast of uptempo nerves with Stumblin’ Man.
On first listen, I felt that these tracks felt disjointed and fractured with the rest of the album. I was struggling to see how they belonged with the smooth, vocal driven tracks. I enjoyed Daniel’s songs on their own, but was having difficulty with understanding their place within the context of the album.
I started to go back to the analogy of an old shirt. Thinking of Daniel’s songs as an odd seam on the cuff of a sleeve. Something that inspector 33 failed to notice. But after repeated wearings, it develops charm. It becomes an identifying factor. Something that keeps things interesting because of the break from the norm.
I’ve spent a lot of time with this record at this point, and much like a shirt that makes it’s way into frequent wardrobe rotation, it is a source of comfort. It’s found a way to stick around even after the initial draw has become less of a focus. Everything has it’s place, each song belong to the others.
www.youthrescuemission.com
http://www.facebook.com/youthrescuemission
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
My Morning Jacket
After recently reading the NPR article about breaking up with your favorite bands, I started thinking about this idea. Not just about bands that I have stopped listening to over the years, Interpol, I’m looking at you. But bands that I find myself trying with again and again over the years.
Today My Morning Jacket released their new album Circuital, which was billed as a return to form.
I remember in 2003 when I first heard the band. I was a few albums late on the bandwagon, but picked up It Still Moves at the Eastern Washington University book store. I’d recently began my foray into indie art and snobbery, and had read about this band. I figured what the hell, I don’t need more shit cafeteria food, I’ll just transfer some of that money over and buy some records.
When I got back to my tiny dorm room, I remember placing the cd in my boom box and preparing to have my world rocked. I made it about five songs in before turning it off and feeling disappointed.
The album was different from what I’d previously experienced. It had a twang that I couldn’t get past. Years of being spoon-fed uninteresting albums that required no effort on my part had led me to feeling left down. So I took the disc out, placed it respectfully in its case and set it aside.
My relationship with this album, and ultimately the band, is much like those I’ve had with a number of girls. Some mutual friends start telling me how beautiful it is. That I should really give it another shot- try looking at it from a different angle. After being pressured, I conceded. I played that album for hours on end attempting to see in it what my friends had. Then, eventually, it all clicked. The prolonged jams no longer felt unnecessary, I was now able to see that there was a story in the prolonged whaling and screeching (to wax misogyny, I’ll equate this to listening to a girl that is pretty, but initially uninteresting, talk). I was starting to see some real value here, and I slowly felt my heart soften, and I was considering a long-term relationship with My Morning Jacket.
Two years later Z was released, and I knew that we belonged together. In retrospect, still using the relationship analogy, I should have been smarter and been able to tell how you were leaving me hints in your title. That Z was more than a coincidental reference to an end. You were starting to outgrow me. Questioning how much longer you should play to my ears. I’d spent so much time telling you how pretty you were, how happy you made me, that naturally, you started looking for bigger and better things.
I was strung along for three years with nothing but memories keeping us afloat. Sure, we’d meet up now and again, and have some real kicks based in nostalgia. I’d burn a few bucks on you at the bar, choosing to play I Will Sing You Songs on the jukebox because I felt like at nine minutes and eighteen seconds I was getting some real value.
Then, in 2008, you really laid into me. Evil Urges came out, and again, your title said it all. You were moving on. All of the intimate moments we’d spent together, magnified by the vast expanse of reverb soaked vocals that made the songs feel as if they were for my ears only, you ditched me for polish and falsetto. You’d ditched me for what you called progress. You were trying new things.
I wanted to be supportive, encouraged growth, respected your need to do what you felt necessary, but we were growing apart. You were more concerned with spending time whispering in the ears of less interesting, but prettier and wealthier, men. I felt pretty broken up, and eventually we parted ways. You were no longer mine, so I stopped speaking of you. No longer told friends about you with pride in my voice.
Sure, I would check in every now and again, hoping you’d changed your mind and come back to your senses. But was just met with a feeling of artificiality and distance.
It’s been another three years, and you’re back. You say you’re sorry and admit the error of your ways. Because of our history, I agree to take you back. I’m listening to Circuital, but this time, I didn’t spend my hard earned money. There will be no more dates at the bar: just you, me, cheap pints and a handful of strangers, no, we’ll stay in.
There are things here that remind me of our past. There are times when I catch myself feeling a love for you again, but at the end of the day, it feels cheap. I feel like you came back because of the rejection that came at the hand of your “ambitions”. You’re settling. We’re simply circling the wagons in an attempt to get back to where we once were. But, truth be told, I never wanted you back- I just wish you’d never left.
Today My Morning Jacket released their new album Circuital, which was billed as a return to form.
I remember in 2003 when I first heard the band. I was a few albums late on the bandwagon, but picked up It Still Moves at the Eastern Washington University book store. I’d recently began my foray into indie art and snobbery, and had read about this band. I figured what the hell, I don’t need more shit cafeteria food, I’ll just transfer some of that money over and buy some records.
When I got back to my tiny dorm room, I remember placing the cd in my boom box and preparing to have my world rocked. I made it about five songs in before turning it off and feeling disappointed.
The album was different from what I’d previously experienced. It had a twang that I couldn’t get past. Years of being spoon-fed uninteresting albums that required no effort on my part had led me to feeling left down. So I took the disc out, placed it respectfully in its case and set it aside.
My relationship with this album, and ultimately the band, is much like those I’ve had with a number of girls. Some mutual friends start telling me how beautiful it is. That I should really give it another shot- try looking at it from a different angle. After being pressured, I conceded. I played that album for hours on end attempting to see in it what my friends had. Then, eventually, it all clicked. The prolonged jams no longer felt unnecessary, I was now able to see that there was a story in the prolonged whaling and screeching (to wax misogyny, I’ll equate this to listening to a girl that is pretty, but initially uninteresting, talk). I was starting to see some real value here, and I slowly felt my heart soften, and I was considering a long-term relationship with My Morning Jacket.
Two years later Z was released, and I knew that we belonged together. In retrospect, still using the relationship analogy, I should have been smarter and been able to tell how you were leaving me hints in your title. That Z was more than a coincidental reference to an end. You were starting to outgrow me. Questioning how much longer you should play to my ears. I’d spent so much time telling you how pretty you were, how happy you made me, that naturally, you started looking for bigger and better things.
I was strung along for three years with nothing but memories keeping us afloat. Sure, we’d meet up now and again, and have some real kicks based in nostalgia. I’d burn a few bucks on you at the bar, choosing to play I Will Sing You Songs on the jukebox because I felt like at nine minutes and eighteen seconds I was getting some real value.
Then, in 2008, you really laid into me. Evil Urges came out, and again, your title said it all. You were moving on. All of the intimate moments we’d spent together, magnified by the vast expanse of reverb soaked vocals that made the songs feel as if they were for my ears only, you ditched me for polish and falsetto. You’d ditched me for what you called progress. You were trying new things.
I wanted to be supportive, encouraged growth, respected your need to do what you felt necessary, but we were growing apart. You were more concerned with spending time whispering in the ears of less interesting, but prettier and wealthier, men. I felt pretty broken up, and eventually we parted ways. You were no longer mine, so I stopped speaking of you. No longer told friends about you with pride in my voice.
Sure, I would check in every now and again, hoping you’d changed your mind and come back to your senses. But was just met with a feeling of artificiality and distance.
It’s been another three years, and you’re back. You say you’re sorry and admit the error of your ways. Because of our history, I agree to take you back. I’m listening to Circuital, but this time, I didn’t spend my hard earned money. There will be no more dates at the bar: just you, me, cheap pints and a handful of strangers, no, we’ll stay in.
There are things here that remind me of our past. There are times when I catch myself feeling a love for you again, but at the end of the day, it feels cheap. I feel like you came back because of the rejection that came at the hand of your “ambitions”. You’re settling. We’re simply circling the wagons in an attempt to get back to where we once were. But, truth be told, I never wanted you back- I just wish you’d never left.
Revival
I've decided to reactivate this blog, as I feel that the consistent writing is good for me. I enjoy having projects, and a Nicholas Alexander and I have talked about, it helps distract us from real problems.
I won't be using it as a log of daily happenings any longer, as my daily life is of little interest to anyone, including myself. I'm okay with that, but honestly, who wants to read about a dude going to work a job that fails to pay the bills? Not I, said the person sitting at the keyboard. And since I don't want to read about it, I will not be writing about it.
Now that you are aware of what I won't be writing about, I will briefly outline what I will be filling this space with. I plan on writing about music, both bigger releases as well as the recordings of myself and my friends (with their blessing only). I will write about books that I'm reading and movies that I'm watching. I will occasionally share short stories, if/when I stop doing my best J.D. Salinger impression. If any of my friends have any art that they wish to share, i.e. photography, paintings, comics (Nic), I will do some repostings of their work with some of my personal response to it.
If there is anyone with a desire to share something of their own, just ask, and I'd be more than happy to have guest posts.
I understand that the internet is littered with blogs such as this, and that a large readership is unlikely, but I'm not concerned with that. I have never experienced an audience for any of my works and haven't let that disuade me from continuing, so I don't see why this should be any different.
The first real post will come sometime later this evening or early tomorrow.
I won't be using it as a log of daily happenings any longer, as my daily life is of little interest to anyone, including myself. I'm okay with that, but honestly, who wants to read about a dude going to work a job that fails to pay the bills? Not I, said the person sitting at the keyboard. And since I don't want to read about it, I will not be writing about it.
Now that you are aware of what I won't be writing about, I will briefly outline what I will be filling this space with. I plan on writing about music, both bigger releases as well as the recordings of myself and my friends (with their blessing only). I will write about books that I'm reading and movies that I'm watching. I will occasionally share short stories, if/when I stop doing my best J.D. Salinger impression. If any of my friends have any art that they wish to share, i.e. photography, paintings, comics (Nic), I will do some repostings of their work with some of my personal response to it.
If there is anyone with a desire to share something of their own, just ask, and I'd be more than happy to have guest posts.
I understand that the internet is littered with blogs such as this, and that a large readership is unlikely, but I'm not concerned with that. I have never experienced an audience for any of my works and haven't let that disuade me from continuing, so I don't see why this should be any different.
The first real post will come sometime later this evening or early tomorrow.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Eugene today, Seattle tomorrow
So, I've been back in Eugene since Tuesday. Prior to the return, I was playing with the idea of returning to school here in the fall, but I'm doing some serious reconsiderations.
It has been great to get to see Mitch and Ryland, but I see now that Eugene is not the place for me. It just doesn't provide the kind of outlets that I desire. I've also noticed how important a sense of community is to me. To my well-being. It has become apparent that I belong to a strong community of friends in the Seattle area, and this will play a part in my decision of what to do next.
I will be making the final leg of my trip to Seattle tomorrow morning around 10. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. Brain, Nic, and myself will be doing a show at Roy Street Coffee and Tea on April 8th. Show starts at 7 pm. I could not be more excited about being able to play music with friends again. I can't wait to see some familiar faces.
It has been great to get to see Mitch and Ryland, but I see now that Eugene is not the place for me. It just doesn't provide the kind of outlets that I desire. I've also noticed how important a sense of community is to me. To my well-being. It has become apparent that I belong to a strong community of friends in the Seattle area, and this will play a part in my decision of what to do next.
I will be making the final leg of my trip to Seattle tomorrow morning around 10. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. Brain, Nic, and myself will be doing a show at Roy Street Coffee and Tea on April 8th. Show starts at 7 pm. I could not be more excited about being able to play music with friends again. I can't wait to see some familiar faces.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 41
Slept at a rest stop in Iowa last night, which was nice because I could pee in things other than gallon jugs. They had wi-fi as well, which is always a welcome thing, as I can watch tv/movies instead of trying to read by the light put off by my iPod. Unfortunately, Iowa has decided to put a time limit to your access. Oh well.
Woke up around 9 this morning, or 7 for you west coasters. The snow was falling in slight flurries, and I'd just stolen the new Fleet Foxes record, so I made an appointment to get a haircut, hit the road, and listened to the new album. Great way to start the day.
When I pulled into Omaha, I found the barber shop and received probably the shortest haircut I've had in years. Feeling pretty good about cleaning up, and having always wanted to, I decided to spend the extra few bucks and get a straight razor shave. It was a pretty righteous experience that I'd recommend to every male.
The gentalman providing this service was named Stan. He was probably in his late 70's early 80's and told me his story and asked about mine. All and all a really nice ordeal.
After finishing up the return to civil appearance, I crossed the street and had a breakfast burrito, satisfying my tummy's needs.
I'm now parked in a Lowe's parking lot, one of the very few lots I've seen that don't forbid overnight parking, and plan on doing some reading and just set up here for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll find a new place and repeat.
Woke up around 9 this morning, or 7 for you west coasters. The snow was falling in slight flurries, and I'd just stolen the new Fleet Foxes record, so I made an appointment to get a haircut, hit the road, and listened to the new album. Great way to start the day.
When I pulled into Omaha, I found the barber shop and received probably the shortest haircut I've had in years. Feeling pretty good about cleaning up, and having always wanted to, I decided to spend the extra few bucks and get a straight razor shave. It was a pretty righteous experience that I'd recommend to every male.
The gentalman providing this service was named Stan. He was probably in his late 70's early 80's and told me his story and asked about mine. All and all a really nice ordeal.
After finishing up the return to civil appearance, I crossed the street and had a breakfast burrito, satisfying my tummy's needs.
I'm now parked in a Lowe's parking lot, one of the very few lots I've seen that don't forbid overnight parking, and plan on doing some reading and just set up here for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll find a new place and repeat.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day 40
Today is my last day in Missouri. For those of you I haven't talked to directly, I've been driving a dude to and from work just outside of Kansas City for $15 a day. The weekend was a bit uncomfortable, as I started this last Friday, and spent all day Saturday hanging out in the van in front of his home. But by Sunday night things started to become more palatable as they welcomed me in and have been making me dinner each night, and letting me sleep on their hide-a-bed last night since the temperature dropped to freezing.
It's a young family of four, and their kids are quite the handful. I have some honest concerns for them, and hope that their maturation comes swiftly. They are kind and loving, but life is going to be hard for them, which is sad to see as the kids will pay the largest price. This, among other reasons, is why I have a fear of being a father. The inability to properly provide or raise a child is terrifying to me. Seeing this family struggle with financial balance just further pushes me away from the wont for reproduction.
Since I've had eight hours of downtime a day this week, I've gotten in a lot of reading, which has been nice. Other than that, my days haven't consisted of much other than phone calls and texting as a way to catch up and keep in contact.
Since I promised the young man a ride through this week, I will be departing this evening after we run to the bank and I get my weeks wages. The plan is to head north to Iowa tonight, then into Omaha either Saturday or Sunday, as I need to be there on Monday to pick up a young man to help share gas costs to Eugene.
My return to Eugene is something that I'm really looking forward to. I think it's important to my continued growth, as I confront the fact that it was not the town that made me miserable, but myself. I only happened to confront this long running issue while in residence.
I'm also really looking forward to a night of drinking stouts with my good friend Mitch, as well as catching up with Ryland.
I've been giving some serious thoughts towards my future, and have concluded that while I'm not jumping into any thing just yet, unless one of the jobs that I've applied to provide me an offer that I feel contributes to my further progression and provides future opportunities, I will be returning to school in the fall in pursuit of a degree in Journalism-Advertising, which will provide me with the education required to pursue a career in publishing. I feel comfortable with this idea, as I've given it considerable debate and feel that this is a future that I would like, rather than one I feel that I can simply do. Unlike my previous attempt at re-entering the world of academia, I'm not setting time lines. I've accepted that at my age, it is no longer a race to get into a profession, as there is really little difference between 27 and 30. In concerns to future debt, I look at is something that is going to be there regardless, and to fuss or make myself crazy over future financial issues is pointless. I will take care of my responsibilities, I know this, so I will focus on them when the time is appropriate, whilst not loosing awareness and becoming irresponsible.
With this choice, I've also considered the things that I've been applying for and realize that they will all still be there, and most likely more obtainable, once I have a degree in place. Thus taking away the pressure cause by fear of missed opportunities. Again, I'm not saying this is absolutely the way that things will take place, but this is my default in the event that I'm not offered something that opens other doors for me.
That's all for now as my battery is running low.
It's a young family of four, and their kids are quite the handful. I have some honest concerns for them, and hope that their maturation comes swiftly. They are kind and loving, but life is going to be hard for them, which is sad to see as the kids will pay the largest price. This, among other reasons, is why I have a fear of being a father. The inability to properly provide or raise a child is terrifying to me. Seeing this family struggle with financial balance just further pushes me away from the wont for reproduction.
Since I've had eight hours of downtime a day this week, I've gotten in a lot of reading, which has been nice. Other than that, my days haven't consisted of much other than phone calls and texting as a way to catch up and keep in contact.
Since I promised the young man a ride through this week, I will be departing this evening after we run to the bank and I get my weeks wages. The plan is to head north to Iowa tonight, then into Omaha either Saturday or Sunday, as I need to be there on Monday to pick up a young man to help share gas costs to Eugene.
My return to Eugene is something that I'm really looking forward to. I think it's important to my continued growth, as I confront the fact that it was not the town that made me miserable, but myself. I only happened to confront this long running issue while in residence.
I'm also really looking forward to a night of drinking stouts with my good friend Mitch, as well as catching up with Ryland.
I've been giving some serious thoughts towards my future, and have concluded that while I'm not jumping into any thing just yet, unless one of the jobs that I've applied to provide me an offer that I feel contributes to my further progression and provides future opportunities, I will be returning to school in the fall in pursuit of a degree in Journalism-Advertising, which will provide me with the education required to pursue a career in publishing. I feel comfortable with this idea, as I've given it considerable debate and feel that this is a future that I would like, rather than one I feel that I can simply do. Unlike my previous attempt at re-entering the world of academia, I'm not setting time lines. I've accepted that at my age, it is no longer a race to get into a profession, as there is really little difference between 27 and 30. In concerns to future debt, I look at is something that is going to be there regardless, and to fuss or make myself crazy over future financial issues is pointless. I will take care of my responsibilities, I know this, so I will focus on them when the time is appropriate, whilst not loosing awareness and becoming irresponsible.
With this choice, I've also considered the things that I've been applying for and realize that they will all still be there, and most likely more obtainable, once I have a degree in place. Thus taking away the pressure cause by fear of missed opportunities. Again, I'm not saying this is absolutely the way that things will take place, but this is my default in the event that I'm not offered something that opens other doors for me.
That's all for now as my battery is running low.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
St. Louis Then West
This morning I left Illinois to continue my journey back west. I was hoping to find work in St. Louis, but their craigslist isn't offering much in the way of temporary employment. Having been doing this for a bit, I've found that I burn up a ton of gas looking for places to park in cities, and since I'm now trying to actually get somewhere, it's best to cut my loses and conserve the gas, keep headed in the general direction I'm going. But, I still wanted to see the Arch. I spent a while, I don't know, maybe an hour, walking around the park and getting vertigo from staring upwards at the apex of the monument, then decided to venture on.
Had a stroke of good luck at a BP about twenty minutes out of St. Louis where the attendent got really excited about my road trip and cut me a deal so I could get a 20 cent per gallon discount, which is rad. Currently I'm parked near Danville, MO at a rest stop, stealing internet from a campground that must be somewhat near bye, though I cannot see it. I've been playing guitar and messing around online for a while now. Probably just stay here tonight. I keep running budget checks and looking into gas costs, and it looks like I'm about $50 short of getting to the west coast, so hopefully I can make a rideshare work. I have two in line, and am hoping to hear from them soon.
I also took a couple pictures, but the internet that I'm stealing isn't a great connection. It shall wait till later, sorry mom.
Had a stroke of good luck at a BP about twenty minutes out of St. Louis where the attendent got really excited about my road trip and cut me a deal so I could get a 20 cent per gallon discount, which is rad. Currently I'm parked near Danville, MO at a rest stop, stealing internet from a campground that must be somewhat near bye, though I cannot see it. I've been playing guitar and messing around online for a while now. Probably just stay here tonight. I keep running budget checks and looking into gas costs, and it looks like I'm about $50 short of getting to the west coast, so hopefully I can make a rideshare work. I have two in line, and am hoping to hear from them soon.
I also took a couple pictures, but the internet that I'm stealing isn't a great connection. It shall wait till later, sorry mom.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Coast-to-Coast
Today I set foot in the Atlantic Ocean. While this may not seem like much to some of you that are well traveled, to me, it felt like an accomplishment. I've been on the road for 28 days now, have driven over 5,000 miles, and made it from one coast to the other.
After spending a while on the beach and letting the ocean water run over my feet, I decided it was best to get to Raleigh so that I can try and find some work. I'm ready to start the drive back home, but will need to get a considerable amount of money set up. Hopefully I can find something soon, and even if temporary, make enough money to slowly work my way back.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Starting the drive back West
Alright, so I figure it's time for me to start making the trip back to the West Coast. Money has been tight, so, I'm resorting to reminding people of where they can donate. Again, don't feel obligated, but if you wish to or can, it's much appreciated.
I'm currently in Asheville, NC, so it may take me a while to get back, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again.
I'm currently in Asheville, NC, so it may take me a while to get back, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day 26
Got to Birmingham last night and had a great time. I was offered a potential gig on sunday, but I failed to get the dude's information, so it's looking like a long shot unless he knows how to contact me by way of telepathy.
Had a few drinks with David Dondero, which was interesting. He was asking me questions about my trip, then asked about my music. I told him the most satisfying moment for me was having a friend (Neal) cover one of my songs as it "made me feel like a less talented Daniel Johnston of my group of friends". David didn't like my saying that, and got really protective of Daniel and told me that I was really arrogant for saying something like that. Which made me laugh, because I'm really not sure how that could be a statement of arrogance, but whatever, he bought me a beer and told me he really liked me despite that statement. He was a nice guy, but strange as all get out.
Anyway, since I managed to not give the guy that talked to me about the gig a way of contacting me, I think I'll head to tennessee today. Maybe stop off in Chattanooga since I still haven't heard anything concrete back from the lady at the Knoxville bar. I mean, I could stay here, but I dunno. I just feel like driving today.
Had a few drinks with David Dondero, which was interesting. He was asking me questions about my trip, then asked about my music. I told him the most satisfying moment for me was having a friend (Neal) cover one of my songs as it "made me feel like a less talented Daniel Johnston of my group of friends". David didn't like my saying that, and got really protective of Daniel and told me that I was really arrogant for saying something like that. Which made me laugh, because I'm really not sure how that could be a statement of arrogance, but whatever, he bought me a beer and told me he really liked me despite that statement. He was a nice guy, but strange as all get out.
Anyway, since I managed to not give the guy that talked to me about the gig a way of contacting me, I think I'll head to tennessee today. Maybe stop off in Chattanooga since I still haven't heard anything concrete back from the lady at the Knoxville bar. I mean, I could stay here, but I dunno. I just feel like driving today.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Day 23
Today will be my last day in Bay Springs, MS. Tomorrow I will venture Northeast to Daleville to visit an old friend from Washington that's living there with her fiancee. My visit here has been nothing short of wonderful. My aunt Barbara has been welcoming with her warmth and love. I'm so thankful that I made the choice to come visit her. I figure since I've already become more self-confessional here than originally intended, I'll go ahead and keep up the trend. I'm over concealment, it's hard and not really worth it.
Since arriving, I've had a lot of time to think things through, to reflect on what I've learned so far on this trip, and to examine how that correlates to my life up to this point. Being able to do this, being blessed by the silence that is a small town in Mississippi, I've come to terms with a number of things. I've learned that maybe I'm not such the asshole that I make myself out to be. Sure, I've fucked up and I've hurt people. I'm prone towards indulgence and a loose mouth, but I can see how I've made situations worse by allowing the guilt to mount up inside of me. This generally leads to future wrong doings. I'm going to move past that. For anyone I've wronged, I'm sorry. I can understand if it's too late for forgiveness or a rebuilding of relationships. That's alright. I can understand.
I've also been working on accepting the kindness of others. I can see now that people do things for me because they care for me. By being able to finally see this, and to openly accept these acts, I feel that I've gained a greater appreciation for them. I'm no longer looking for the catch. I know where this reaction developed, and that, as well, I am letting go.
I'm doing my best to be a better person. I will continue to be open and honest about my views, my opinions, but I'm releasing myself of cynicism that has often prohibited me from truly being receptive. I'm always willing to be there for anyone that needs someone to talk to. Having developed a better sense of situations such as this, and being on the receiving end of such kindness, I'm happy to return it.
I don't think I'm done with what it is I'm looking for, as I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I am, however, finding myself more capable to enjoy each day. I'm no longer dreading waking up, or trying hard to look for the next thing as a way of getting by. I'm much more able to just take things in stride. I'm far from a finished product in my development as a person, and I understand that I always will be. I'm okay with that. I will continue to work to be better.
I can also see how some of you who read this will be turned away by the touchy-feely bullshit, but, that I'm okay with as well. I'm not embarrassed. I was a pretty big mess when I left school, probably an even bigger one when I left home. I have no problem airing this. I'm sincerely grateful for everyone who has been there to talk to me while I'm trying to figure this out. I'm fortunate to have really great friends that are supportive and patient, even when it can be difficult. I'm incredibly lucky to have family that cares and loves me even at times when I cannot understand or truly accept those feelings. I'm working on it. I'm getting closer.
As I said, tomorrow I will depart the warm home of my aunt and get back on the road. The next stop after touching base with the people I know here will be Tennessee. I'm split between Nashville or Knoxville as I'm trying to find some places to play a bit of music. I'll also have a quick stop in Birmingham, AL. After that, I don't know. I may start looking to raise the funds and start working my way back west. Or maybe I'll head North up the East-coast. I'm not really sure. I do know that I'm much closer to coming home than I thought I ever would be. I feel like I've just left. I feel like I've always been on the road. We shall see. Thanks again, everyone.
Also, new demo. It's rough, but what do I do that isn't. If I were striving for polish, I'd have nothing to show.
The Good Wives - Mississippi Soft Water by jacobbruggman
Since arriving, I've had a lot of time to think things through, to reflect on what I've learned so far on this trip, and to examine how that correlates to my life up to this point. Being able to do this, being blessed by the silence that is a small town in Mississippi, I've come to terms with a number of things. I've learned that maybe I'm not such the asshole that I make myself out to be. Sure, I've fucked up and I've hurt people. I'm prone towards indulgence and a loose mouth, but I can see how I've made situations worse by allowing the guilt to mount up inside of me. This generally leads to future wrong doings. I'm going to move past that. For anyone I've wronged, I'm sorry. I can understand if it's too late for forgiveness or a rebuilding of relationships. That's alright. I can understand.
I've also been working on accepting the kindness of others. I can see now that people do things for me because they care for me. By being able to finally see this, and to openly accept these acts, I feel that I've gained a greater appreciation for them. I'm no longer looking for the catch. I know where this reaction developed, and that, as well, I am letting go.
I'm doing my best to be a better person. I will continue to be open and honest about my views, my opinions, but I'm releasing myself of cynicism that has often prohibited me from truly being receptive. I'm always willing to be there for anyone that needs someone to talk to. Having developed a better sense of situations such as this, and being on the receiving end of such kindness, I'm happy to return it.
I don't think I'm done with what it is I'm looking for, as I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I am, however, finding myself more capable to enjoy each day. I'm no longer dreading waking up, or trying hard to look for the next thing as a way of getting by. I'm much more able to just take things in stride. I'm far from a finished product in my development as a person, and I understand that I always will be. I'm okay with that. I will continue to work to be better.
I can also see how some of you who read this will be turned away by the touchy-feely bullshit, but, that I'm okay with as well. I'm not embarrassed. I was a pretty big mess when I left school, probably an even bigger one when I left home. I have no problem airing this. I'm sincerely grateful for everyone who has been there to talk to me while I'm trying to figure this out. I'm fortunate to have really great friends that are supportive and patient, even when it can be difficult. I'm incredibly lucky to have family that cares and loves me even at times when I cannot understand or truly accept those feelings. I'm working on it. I'm getting closer.
As I said, tomorrow I will depart the warm home of my aunt and get back on the road. The next stop after touching base with the people I know here will be Tennessee. I'm split between Nashville or Knoxville as I'm trying to find some places to play a bit of music. I'll also have a quick stop in Birmingham, AL. After that, I don't know. I may start looking to raise the funds and start working my way back west. Or maybe I'll head North up the East-coast. I'm not really sure. I do know that I'm much closer to coming home than I thought I ever would be. I feel like I've just left. I feel like I've always been on the road. We shall see. Thanks again, everyone.
Also, new demo. It's rough, but what do I do that isn't. If I were striving for polish, I'd have nothing to show.
The Good Wives - Mississippi Soft Water by jacobbruggman
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day 20
Having lived in Seattle, I had thought I knew what a rain storm was all about. I'm not so sure now, having seen a Mississippi storm. I stepped out this morning to have a cup of coffee and a cigarette and it was clear and fairly sunny, by the time I was headed back in, there were puddles in the yard. It kept up like that for most of the day, which kept me indoors.
Since I had nothing to do and a full day ahead of me, I decided to sit down and write a song. My first since leaving on this trip. I've posted a video below of said song.
There hasn't been much going on here in Bay Springs, as many might be have been able to guess, but the quiet has been pretty nice. I've gotten caught up on some sleep and the regular availability of a shower has honestly seemed somewhat luxurious. My rough plan as of right now, is to stick around here at my Aunt Barbara's until either Tuesday or Wednesday, then I will be headed north to see a friend in Daleville. From there, I'm thinking I'll go see Nashville for a few days, then play it by ear after that.
I've had some time to let the events from the previous days on the road to set in, and I'm feeling considerably better about a lot of the issues that lead me here. The perspective I've gained from having this time seems to be leading me in the right direction, and I think it is realistic for me to start thinking about what I can do going forth. Most of the things that seemed impossible for me to do on a day to day basis now seem feasible so long as I can maintain the sense of patience I've been working hard on developing. A number of things that previously caused me considerable amounts of anxiety seem to have faded as I've come to accept a number of things as well. I still want to give myself a bit more time to really focus on this, and decide what the next move will be, but I feel as though I've made real progress that is sustainable. I guess I just needed to get lost for a while.
Anyway, here is the new song.
Since I had nothing to do and a full day ahead of me, I decided to sit down and write a song. My first since leaving on this trip. I've posted a video below of said song.
There hasn't been much going on here in Bay Springs, as many might be have been able to guess, but the quiet has been pretty nice. I've gotten caught up on some sleep and the regular availability of a shower has honestly seemed somewhat luxurious. My rough plan as of right now, is to stick around here at my Aunt Barbara's until either Tuesday or Wednesday, then I will be headed north to see a friend in Daleville. From there, I'm thinking I'll go see Nashville for a few days, then play it by ear after that.
I've had some time to let the events from the previous days on the road to set in, and I'm feeling considerably better about a lot of the issues that lead me here. The perspective I've gained from having this time seems to be leading me in the right direction, and I think it is realistic for me to start thinking about what I can do going forth. Most of the things that seemed impossible for me to do on a day to day basis now seem feasible so long as I can maintain the sense of patience I've been working hard on developing. A number of things that previously caused me considerable amounts of anxiety seem to have faded as I've come to accept a number of things as well. I still want to give myself a bit more time to really focus on this, and decide what the next move will be, but I feel as though I've made real progress that is sustainable. I guess I just needed to get lost for a while.
Anyway, here is the new song.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 18
First and foremost, I need to express my gratitude for Cari and Clayton's incredible kindness. You are both wonderful people and you made me feel so welcome, thank you so much. I'm honored to call you both friends. Though the likelihood of any other folks I met these past few days reading this is very very small, I still want to let it be known how much I enjoyed meeting each and every one of you. My stay in New Orleans couldn't have been any better. I hope that we have the opportunity to run into one another again someday.
Today I left for Bay Springs Mississippi and am currently sitting in my great Aunt Barbara's house, just got out of the shower and am strongly considering a nap. I don't have any phone reception out here, so e-mail will be the best way to contact me if anyone needs to. Alright, time to sleep.
Today I left for Bay Springs Mississippi and am currently sitting in my great Aunt Barbara's house, just got out of the shower and am strongly considering a nap. I don't have any phone reception out here, so e-mail will be the best way to contact me if anyone needs to. Alright, time to sleep.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day 16
Got to New Orleans last night around 10 pm. The kids that I gave the ride to were great. Cari gave me dinner and use of her shower. Both her and Clayton bought me some drinks last night. It was a good time and felt like meeting up with old friends rather than meeting new people.
Today I went out in the French Quarter to busk and try and make a few bucks since I need to get $40-ish to get to Mississippi. The town was dead, though, and I was unable to make any cash, which is alright, as I had tempered my expectations. The only people making money today were the super old dude one man band and the pretty girl playing the cello.
I was joined by a banjo playing drifter from North Carolina who's been hitchhiking around for about a month. He was shoeless, and at first had some charm about him. He bought us a beer which we shared on some stoop. Soon afterward, he just became loud and the charm had worn off. I ditched him shortly after and came back to the van, where I'm stealing internet and writing this.
Cari has invited me to attend a Barbecue tonight, so I'll be getting another free meal, which is great, since I spent my last dime today on a po' boy sandwich, which was wonderful. And I would have felt as though I'd cheated myself if I were here and didn't have one. After dinner, I'm going to go play on Frenchmen street and see if I can't make some money. Then go back to the French Quarter tomorrow and give it another go.
In someways, I'd really like to stay here longer, as the people have been incredibly hospitable and I've enjoyed their company, but I just don't want to settle in. I'm just not ready for it yet. Unfortunately the craigslist for this city doesn't offer much in the way of work, so I'll be here until someone pays me to play music.
Today I went out in the French Quarter to busk and try and make a few bucks since I need to get $40-ish to get to Mississippi. The town was dead, though, and I was unable to make any cash, which is alright, as I had tempered my expectations. The only people making money today were the super old dude one man band and the pretty girl playing the cello.
I was joined by a banjo playing drifter from North Carolina who's been hitchhiking around for about a month. He was shoeless, and at first had some charm about him. He bought us a beer which we shared on some stoop. Soon afterward, he just became loud and the charm had worn off. I ditched him shortly after and came back to the van, where I'm stealing internet and writing this.
Cari has invited me to attend a Barbecue tonight, so I'll be getting another free meal, which is great, since I spent my last dime today on a po' boy sandwich, which was wonderful. And I would have felt as though I'd cheated myself if I were here and didn't have one. After dinner, I'm going to go play on Frenchmen street and see if I can't make some money. Then go back to the French Quarter tomorrow and give it another go.
In someways, I'd really like to stay here longer, as the people have been incredibly hospitable and I've enjoyed their company, but I just don't want to settle in. I'm just not ready for it yet. Unfortunately the craigslist for this city doesn't offer much in the way of work, so I'll be here until someone pays me to play music.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Day 15
Leaving Austin in about 15 minutes for New Orleans. I've had a great time here, really enjoyed the city. Not sure how long I'll stay in New Orleans, guess it just depends on how long it takes me to make some money. I need about $40 to get to Mississippi, so it shouldn't take that long.
Alright, I'll post something in a day or two. Take care everyone.
Alright, I'll post something in a day or two. Take care everyone.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Day 13
No work today, which was a bit of a bummer, but not unanticipated. Let's see, I woke up around 9 and drove downtown to get coffee and a scone, for I am MAN. Used up the coffee shop internet to check craigslist out and do some general time wasting exercises that come with an internet signal.
After that I went to a park and played music for a couple of hours, thankfully no one was really listening because I was sloppy. This humidity isn't my favorite, though I have really enjoyed this city so far. Also, I was caught off guard by a gentleman in a penguin suit. Turns out there were a bunch of humans disguised as animals, and occasionally superheros, that were playing kickball whilst being drunk. Another reason why I would encourage people to visit Austin.
Went to the library afterwards and tried to get some work again, and ended up getting hired to drive a dude to New Orleans on Monday, which is great, because I was just thinking about how nice it would be to get to Mississipi so I can shower. It's been a while, folks. I was my body with baby wipes, but that just doesn't quite cut it. I don't know the exact severity, but I'm sure that my current scent isn't pleasant, and might even be bordering on European.
Since I've now got my time line for heading further East, I guess I'll see if I can't land a job for tomorrow so I can have a bit of extra money, for gas to Mississippi or to maybe check out New Orleans. Either way, I shall write it here.
After that I went to a park and played music for a couple of hours, thankfully no one was really listening because I was sloppy. This humidity isn't my favorite, though I have really enjoyed this city so far. Also, I was caught off guard by a gentleman in a penguin suit. Turns out there were a bunch of humans disguised as animals, and occasionally superheros, that were playing kickball whilst being drunk. Another reason why I would encourage people to visit Austin.
Went to the library afterwards and tried to get some work again, and ended up getting hired to drive a dude to New Orleans on Monday, which is great, because I was just thinking about how nice it would be to get to Mississipi so I can shower. It's been a while, folks. I was my body with baby wipes, but that just doesn't quite cut it. I don't know the exact severity, but I'm sure that my current scent isn't pleasant, and might even be bordering on European.
Since I've now got my time line for heading further East, I guess I'll see if I can't land a job for tomorrow so I can have a bit of extra money, for gas to Mississippi or to maybe check out New Orleans. Either way, I shall write it here.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Day 12
Woke up outside the library today at about 7:00 am to the sound of tapping on my window. Or what I thought was tapping on my window. I flung open the curtains in a panic, but no one was there. I figured I should probably put on a shirt anyway.
Drove downtown and walked around listening to the King of Limbs and drinking coffee for a few hours until the libraries opened up. My biggest complaint about Austin thus far is that the libraries have really odd schedules. The one I went to yesterday was closed on Thursdays and the one I went to today is closed on Fridays.
While I was being rejected by automatic doors I saw an elderly woman sitting on the sidewalk trying to fix a plastic guard on her car, so I offered some assistance and was able to fix it for her. In exchange she directed me to a library that was actually open today. She said I'd find it on Guadalupe St. Which she pronounced as Guad-a-loop.
Spent some time scouring through craigslist to find some work and ended up landing a gig moving antique furniture around for a photo shoot and made myself a cool $40 for my troubles.
After working for the first time in, well, a really long time, I rewarded myself with a warm meal. Had smoked salmon enchiladas, which were incredible. I really wanted frozen yogurt afterwards, but was unable to find a place. You win some, you lose some.
Drove back to the library to syphon some free wi-fi and saw a bum with a shitty leg, so I gave him a ride to where ever it was he was headed. Now I'm back again, and making this post.
That's pretty much it for today. Just got done sending off an e-mail for some work tomorrow helping out a moving company. $15 an hour if I drive a truck for them, $12 if I just help move. This would help me out considerably. Figured out that I need $100 in gas to get to Mississipi, which means I need to have $150 to be safe. I've got about $20 of that so far.
Drove downtown and walked around listening to the King of Limbs and drinking coffee for a few hours until the libraries opened up. My biggest complaint about Austin thus far is that the libraries have really odd schedules. The one I went to yesterday was closed on Thursdays and the one I went to today is closed on Fridays.
While I was being rejected by automatic doors I saw an elderly woman sitting on the sidewalk trying to fix a plastic guard on her car, so I offered some assistance and was able to fix it for her. In exchange she directed me to a library that was actually open today. She said I'd find it on Guadalupe St. Which she pronounced as Guad-a-loop.
Spent some time scouring through craigslist to find some work and ended up landing a gig moving antique furniture around for a photo shoot and made myself a cool $40 for my troubles.
After working for the first time in, well, a really long time, I rewarded myself with a warm meal. Had smoked salmon enchiladas, which were incredible. I really wanted frozen yogurt afterwards, but was unable to find a place. You win some, you lose some.
Drove back to the library to syphon some free wi-fi and saw a bum with a shitty leg, so I gave him a ride to where ever it was he was headed. Now I'm back again, and making this post.
That's pretty much it for today. Just got done sending off an e-mail for some work tomorrow helping out a moving company. $15 an hour if I drive a truck for them, $12 if I just help move. This would help me out considerably. Figured out that I need $100 in gas to get to Mississipi, which means I need to have $150 to be safe. I've got about $20 of that so far.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Finally Found A Place To Sleep
It's 9 PM here, and after walking all around downtown scouting, and driving for well over an hour, I found a place to park where I'm not in front of someones house- because I understand the creepy implications of a dude sleeping in a minivan in front of the place you live. I found a nice library that's across from some apartment buildings. I figure this will do because it's not in the actual lot of the library, just an extension, and with the apartments being right there, the overnight overflow will not seem out of the norm.
So, I'm all set up and have the curtains down. Eating a can of vegetarian chili- cold and straight from the can, like a man... or a homeless man- with a lot of sriracha mixed in.
What I was able to see of Austin today was enjoyable. I'm looking forward to having the time to explore more tomorrow, and am hoping I hear back on some of the places I contacted to play some songs at.
More later.
So, I'm all set up and have the curtains down. Eating a can of vegetarian chili- cold and straight from the can, like a man... or a homeless man- with a lot of sriracha mixed in.
What I was able to see of Austin today was enjoyable. I'm looking forward to having the time to explore more tomorrow, and am hoping I hear back on some of the places I contacted to play some songs at.
More later.
Day 11
Finished the drive to Austin today. I'm tired, and a bit sticky feeling. The plan now is to try and find a place to park and call it a night pretty early. I might try and walk around the peripheral part of the city. I don't know. No plan for tonight other than find a place to park. I went to a look out area, took a picture, that's what you see in the corner there. I'm looking forward to exploring this place.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Because it's been requested...
Here is the link for donations again. Thanks to any and all who can and do. I appreciate the generosity and support that has been coming my way through this experience so far.
Day 10
Just pulled into Las Cruces New Mexico about an hour ago. Just sitting in the public library. Spent the past few nights out on some desert road and was thinking about staying there another night, but talked to boarder patrol this morning and decided it was best to move on. He didn't hassle me at all (Sweet, sweet pale white skin. Screams AMERICA) but I don't want to risk suspicion anymore than living in a van already does. Also, I made a little video last night, which I'll also post in place of pictures.
I did some writing while I was out there, and will post it. It's pretty much just a conversation, and I don't know what it means or if anything, but what the hell, why not post it.
Two men are sitting in a diner, drinking coffee while nursing hangovers from the night before.
“I’ve been thinking...”
“About your sexuality? Everyone knows...”
“Yeah, exactly. But seriously, I’ve been thinking about all the girls I’ve ever slept with.”
“Oh, yeah, man. I do that too. A lot.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about the ones I loved, the ones that loved me. That kind of stuff.”
“You know you tend to romanticize the past. You shouldn’t. This is probably unhealthy. Just think about how they let you see them naked. Don’t do the ‘emotional’ focus. That shit fucks you up.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know that. But don’t you ever wonder what really brought you together with all of them? Was it misery? Those are the break ups that hurt the worst. I mean, you’re already fucked up. Or the ones where it’s just based on convenience? Those are awkward and always linger, usually relapse. The ones based on familiarity are always messy. You have to do that whole friend divide. It’s almost like divorce. Or loneliness. But, that’s really a lot like the misery one. Or...”
“I get what you’re saying. But, what’s the point? It’s done. Even if you were to get any of them back, it would never be as good. At least not the way you remember things after enough time has passed.”
“That’s not really the point, though.”
“Then what is? If you don’t want her back, why stress over it? It’s best to just cut bait. Don’t try the friend shit- just makes you look like you’re trying to get her back. And definitely don’t do the retroactive apologies or the ‘remember when’s, that just makes you look unstable. Which, of course you are, but you can keep some shit secret.”
“Even with all of that, and you’re right about most of it, God knows we’ve all done that stuff. And done it wrong.”
“Exactly.”
“But, still. Don’t you ever wonder? I mean, what if it didn’t end then? What if I hadn’t been afraid to feel something for her? What if she wouldn’t have been turned off by my insecurity?”
“It would have just been the other way around, then.”
“Well, okay, but let’s assume it wouldn’t be.”
“I don’t see why you’d care, but alright.”
“Thank you. Okay, so let’s just pretend you stayed together. Now, pick one girl from your past, then think of having been with her this whole time. That you stay with her through the future, as well. Alright. Once you have this going, think of all the things you hate about her and everything you love about her. I know you can do this, you’ve spent enough time overanalyzing these things since the second it ended. Now that all of that is building, let it set in and refocus on the time element. What things have changed? Do the things you hate about her become more infuriating? The things you love, do you love more? Have any of them crossed over into the other category? After you answer those questions for yourself, would that life be better than the one you live currently? Do this with a few of the girls from your past later, you’d be surprised what you’ll come up with. Then look and see if the one that you perceive as most ideal is the one you’ve been the most hung up on. It’s just interesting- we cross lives with someone. Spend whatever amount of time with them that we do, then it’s done. Some we talk to still. Some we want to, but they don’t, and of course the other way around. Some we just never see again. But there was always a chance, no matter how minute, that you could have stayed together for whatever reason.”
“Fuck, man. This is why you don’t sleep. You know this, right?”
“Whatever. You never think about shit like this?”
“No way. I just search them online when this stuff works its way into my head. Then I look at their pictures and masturbate, then move on. I’m not saying that’s any less pathetic or creepy. But it’s a hell of a lot quicker a process.”
“So, you take the more animalistic route. I do clumsy intellectualizations. Let me ask you a question- In your house growing up, was you mom or your dad the disciplinarian?”
“My dad. The fucking prick.”
“Alright, that’s what I thought. For me, it was my mother.”
“That explains why you’re such a pussy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Come on, try and keep focused. I want to discuss this.”
“I’ll try. You know emotional stuff isn’t natural for me. I always deflect.”
“I know, and I appreciate you playing along. So, for the sake of argument, lets just say that men who were disciplined by their fathers go about things like you and when it’s by the mother, they take my line of thinking.”
“Okay, I’m with you.”
“What, then, would be the effect for women in our position?”
“I think we’re entirely unqualified for this. Seriously, if we knew shit about women, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now having this conversation.”
“I agree, but we’re already working with stuff we’re unqualified for, so just humor me.”
“Well, I suppose there are too many variables. Like who were her parents disciplined by?
“Just assume if it’s a father filling that roll, it’s your’s. You have a sister, you have some idea how their interactions went. If it’s a mother, you’ve been around mine enough, just use that model.”
“Well, I guess Dad was always softer with my sister. He understood he would have some role in who she chose down the line. You’re mom has always been more critical of your sister. As if she didn’t want her making the same mistakes.”
“Exactly. This is what I’m getting at. When that role is filled by the same sex parent, they’re often trying to prevent the child from picking up their flaws. When it’s by the opposite sex, they’re setting an example or how you should look to be treated as well as teaching you how to treat future significant others. Now, with this providing the basis, what would you expect to see in a woman’s development if neither parent fills this role? Rather, one is a comforter while the other is resentful and harsh. Neither providing actual structure just emotional reactions.”
“Really? This is fucked, man. Neither of us is any where near intelligent enough for this.”
“Just play along.”
“Alright. I guess, then, if it’s the mother that causes the discomfort, I would assume the girl would seek a man that could provide comfort, but would be turned away by any attributes of femininity. She would seek strength and security. I mean, all of this is broad generalization, but that’s all you’re really giving me to work with.”
“No, no. I know that. You’re doing great.”
“Alright, so, let’s say the role is reversed. I’d guess, with a woman, she’d still look for a man that is in control, but probably more in the realm of controlling. The father would still be a model, after all. Again, this is a generalization, as I’m only working with heterosexuality. But, I think she would be drawn to more of an asshole. But an asshole with a certain amount of vulnerability. Guys like us, to be honest.”
“Agreed. Go on.”
“Well, I think she would at first be drawn to the distance. Then grow an appreciation for the hints at an inner softness, some redeeming qualities. The catch, though, is if you show any bit of need for a woman like this, I’m guessing you’ll get rejection. She’ll want you to need her, but will be afraid of having to fill that role. You have to remember, Daddy, in this case, is the one doing the rejecting. She’d need you to be in control emotionally. Both of her and yourself.”
“That’s what I’ve been arriving at too.”
“Okay, neat. I guess. But what are you trying to accomplish with this?”
“Not sure, but let’s go back to the thing where we were imagining a whole life with an ex. I’m assuming you chose someone that rejected you, as those are the ones we tend to want back the most. You know, ego driven. Now, think of all the projections you’ve made for her with what she loved and hated about you. Stretch them out again and get a feel for how this life would have been for her. Then add in the thing you’ve decided she resented the most about you, the reason she ended it, and allow that to build or deconstruct based on how you’ve shaped the rest of this projection. Once you’re there, start working in what we’ve come up with in concerns to the role of her parents.”
“Got it.”
“What does this life look like? For you? For her?”
“Pretty ugly, to be honest.”
“Okay, now just think, this is only the relationship aspect of your life. You still have work, friends, maybe kids.”
“This is fucking depressing. Do you do this often?”
“Yeah, man. All the time.”
“Jesus.”
“So, would you ever want this girl back?”
“Fuck no, man.”
“Okay. Now, switch out your perception of self a bit. The things you really hate about yourself, pretend they aren’t so bad. Then the things you like, tame them a bit. Just bring them towards center, don’t negate.”
“Alright.”
“Is the life still as ugly?”
“Not nearly. I mean, far from perfect, but I wouldn’t be frantically searching for a way to end it like in the earlier projection.”
“Okay, now do the same for the things you chose about her. The good and the bad, bring them more towards the center.”
“Yeah. This would be nice. It’s no where near realistic, though. I mean, it’s easy to be logical about these things retroactively, but you can’t do that in the moment.”
“Of course not.”
“Then, again, I have to ask. What’s the point?”
“There isn’t one, I guess. Just interesting the number of lives you could have had. You know, with all of these past women. Then considering not a one paned out, and we are where we are. And after doing this, you’ll still be prone towards thinking things would have been better with one or more of them. Even though you can understand the unlikeliness of it all.”
The waitress comes by to refill the cups of coffee. Both men place their hands, covering the mugs to signify they’re finished.
I did some writing while I was out there, and will post it. It's pretty much just a conversation, and I don't know what it means or if anything, but what the hell, why not post it.
Two men are sitting in a diner, drinking coffee while nursing hangovers from the night before.
“I’ve been thinking...”
“About your sexuality? Everyone knows...”
“Yeah, exactly. But seriously, I’ve been thinking about all the girls I’ve ever slept with.”
“Oh, yeah, man. I do that too. A lot.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about the ones I loved, the ones that loved me. That kind of stuff.”
“You know you tend to romanticize the past. You shouldn’t. This is probably unhealthy. Just think about how they let you see them naked. Don’t do the ‘emotional’ focus. That shit fucks you up.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know that. But don’t you ever wonder what really brought you together with all of them? Was it misery? Those are the break ups that hurt the worst. I mean, you’re already fucked up. Or the ones where it’s just based on convenience? Those are awkward and always linger, usually relapse. The ones based on familiarity are always messy. You have to do that whole friend divide. It’s almost like divorce. Or loneliness. But, that’s really a lot like the misery one. Or...”
“I get what you’re saying. But, what’s the point? It’s done. Even if you were to get any of them back, it would never be as good. At least not the way you remember things after enough time has passed.”
“That’s not really the point, though.”
“Then what is? If you don’t want her back, why stress over it? It’s best to just cut bait. Don’t try the friend shit- just makes you look like you’re trying to get her back. And definitely don’t do the retroactive apologies or the ‘remember when’s, that just makes you look unstable. Which, of course you are, but you can keep some shit secret.”
“Even with all of that, and you’re right about most of it, God knows we’ve all done that stuff. And done it wrong.”
“Exactly.”
“But, still. Don’t you ever wonder? I mean, what if it didn’t end then? What if I hadn’t been afraid to feel something for her? What if she wouldn’t have been turned off by my insecurity?”
“It would have just been the other way around, then.”
“Well, okay, but let’s assume it wouldn’t be.”
“I don’t see why you’d care, but alright.”
“Thank you. Okay, so let’s just pretend you stayed together. Now, pick one girl from your past, then think of having been with her this whole time. That you stay with her through the future, as well. Alright. Once you have this going, think of all the things you hate about her and everything you love about her. I know you can do this, you’ve spent enough time overanalyzing these things since the second it ended. Now that all of that is building, let it set in and refocus on the time element. What things have changed? Do the things you hate about her become more infuriating? The things you love, do you love more? Have any of them crossed over into the other category? After you answer those questions for yourself, would that life be better than the one you live currently? Do this with a few of the girls from your past later, you’d be surprised what you’ll come up with. Then look and see if the one that you perceive as most ideal is the one you’ve been the most hung up on. It’s just interesting- we cross lives with someone. Spend whatever amount of time with them that we do, then it’s done. Some we talk to still. Some we want to, but they don’t, and of course the other way around. Some we just never see again. But there was always a chance, no matter how minute, that you could have stayed together for whatever reason.”
“Fuck, man. This is why you don’t sleep. You know this, right?”
“Whatever. You never think about shit like this?”
“No way. I just search them online when this stuff works its way into my head. Then I look at their pictures and masturbate, then move on. I’m not saying that’s any less pathetic or creepy. But it’s a hell of a lot quicker a process.”
“So, you take the more animalistic route. I do clumsy intellectualizations. Let me ask you a question- In your house growing up, was you mom or your dad the disciplinarian?”
“My dad. The fucking prick.”
“Alright, that’s what I thought. For me, it was my mother.”
“That explains why you’re such a pussy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Come on, try and keep focused. I want to discuss this.”
“I’ll try. You know emotional stuff isn’t natural for me. I always deflect.”
“I know, and I appreciate you playing along. So, for the sake of argument, lets just say that men who were disciplined by their fathers go about things like you and when it’s by the mother, they take my line of thinking.”
“Okay, I’m with you.”
“What, then, would be the effect for women in our position?”
“I think we’re entirely unqualified for this. Seriously, if we knew shit about women, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now having this conversation.”
“I agree, but we’re already working with stuff we’re unqualified for, so just humor me.”
“Well, I suppose there are too many variables. Like who were her parents disciplined by?
“Just assume if it’s a father filling that roll, it’s your’s. You have a sister, you have some idea how their interactions went. If it’s a mother, you’ve been around mine enough, just use that model.”
“Well, I guess Dad was always softer with my sister. He understood he would have some role in who she chose down the line. You’re mom has always been more critical of your sister. As if she didn’t want her making the same mistakes.”
“Exactly. This is what I’m getting at. When that role is filled by the same sex parent, they’re often trying to prevent the child from picking up their flaws. When it’s by the opposite sex, they’re setting an example or how you should look to be treated as well as teaching you how to treat future significant others. Now, with this providing the basis, what would you expect to see in a woman’s development if neither parent fills this role? Rather, one is a comforter while the other is resentful and harsh. Neither providing actual structure just emotional reactions.”
“Really? This is fucked, man. Neither of us is any where near intelligent enough for this.”
“Just play along.”
“Alright. I guess, then, if it’s the mother that causes the discomfort, I would assume the girl would seek a man that could provide comfort, but would be turned away by any attributes of femininity. She would seek strength and security. I mean, all of this is broad generalization, but that’s all you’re really giving me to work with.”
“No, no. I know that. You’re doing great.”
“Alright, so, let’s say the role is reversed. I’d guess, with a woman, she’d still look for a man that is in control, but probably more in the realm of controlling. The father would still be a model, after all. Again, this is a generalization, as I’m only working with heterosexuality. But, I think she would be drawn to more of an asshole. But an asshole with a certain amount of vulnerability. Guys like us, to be honest.”
“Agreed. Go on.”
“Well, I think she would at first be drawn to the distance. Then grow an appreciation for the hints at an inner softness, some redeeming qualities. The catch, though, is if you show any bit of need for a woman like this, I’m guessing you’ll get rejection. She’ll want you to need her, but will be afraid of having to fill that role. You have to remember, Daddy, in this case, is the one doing the rejecting. She’d need you to be in control emotionally. Both of her and yourself.”
“That’s what I’ve been arriving at too.”
“Okay, neat. I guess. But what are you trying to accomplish with this?”
“Not sure, but let’s go back to the thing where we were imagining a whole life with an ex. I’m assuming you chose someone that rejected you, as those are the ones we tend to want back the most. You know, ego driven. Now, think of all the projections you’ve made for her with what she loved and hated about you. Stretch them out again and get a feel for how this life would have been for her. Then add in the thing you’ve decided she resented the most about you, the reason she ended it, and allow that to build or deconstruct based on how you’ve shaped the rest of this projection. Once you’re there, start working in what we’ve come up with in concerns to the role of her parents.”
“Got it.”
“What does this life look like? For you? For her?”
“Pretty ugly, to be honest.”
“Okay, now just think, this is only the relationship aspect of your life. You still have work, friends, maybe kids.”
“This is fucking depressing. Do you do this often?”
“Yeah, man. All the time.”
“Jesus.”
“So, would you ever want this girl back?”
“Fuck no, man.”
“Okay. Now, switch out your perception of self a bit. The things you really hate about yourself, pretend they aren’t so bad. Then the things you like, tame them a bit. Just bring them towards center, don’t negate.”
“Alright.”
“Is the life still as ugly?”
“Not nearly. I mean, far from perfect, but I wouldn’t be frantically searching for a way to end it like in the earlier projection.”
“Okay, now do the same for the things you chose about her. The good and the bad, bring them more towards the center.”
“Yeah. This would be nice. It’s no where near realistic, though. I mean, it’s easy to be logical about these things retroactively, but you can’t do that in the moment.”
“Of course not.”
“Then, again, I have to ask. What’s the point?”
“There isn’t one, I guess. Just interesting the number of lives you could have had. You know, with all of these past women. Then considering not a one paned out, and we are where we are. And after doing this, you’ll still be prone towards thinking things would have been better with one or more of them. Even though you can understand the unlikeliness of it all.”
The waitress comes by to refill the cups of coffee. Both men place their hands, covering the mugs to signify they’re finished.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Leaving Tucson
Heading out in the general direction of Austin, TX today. Going to pull off somewhere and stay for a bit, hopefully. I'm going to try and find a place where I can get cell service just incase of emergency, but won't likely be posting anything for a while.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Northern Arizona Snowblind
Left Zion Canyon last night after I couldn't find a place to park the van without risking some hassle, thought I would just get back on I-15, head south, pull into the first rest area and call it a night. I was about an hour outside of Las Vagas when I decided that I-15 just isn't really into rest areas, so I turned off and started driving towards Hoover Dam. I found a nice place to sleep in Lake Mead National Rec Area at the Bowl of Fire lookout.
It was nice to sleep in warmer climate. The wind was blowing, and it rained all night, but I was kept warm the whole night through. I wanted to take a picture this morning, but it was still raining, so the one in the upper left is about five miles down the road from where I slept.
After getting back on the road, I decided I would start heading towards Tucsan Arizona so I can stop in and see my old roommate. Plus get a shower in.
The road through Arizona was a mess. I took I-40 and ran into a massive snow storm that culminated in right around two hours of sitting behind an accident. Not a big deal, though. I have no schedule, no hard commitments to any certain place. I just took my time and did some reading. For those of you that have never seen or heard of Arizona snow, to the right is a picture I took from the van. It got much worse later on, which is why I couldn't pull over to take any pictures of the actual storm.
Right now, I'm in Anthem Arizona at a Starbucks. I needed a quick reprieve from the road, but will soon get back out and drive the rest of the way to Tucsan. Should take me around two and a half hours. Not sure what's next after this. I'm going to try and see if I can't make a bit of money here while I have access to a shower so I don't smell like ass and look like I'm living out of a van. Might spend a few days out in the desert later on next week as well. Just mulling over some options.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day 5
Today was just too interesting not to post about it while it's still fresh. I left Salt Lake City right after posting this morning, and not too far into the drive started getting texts from Gas Station Dan about Utah history and Danny Boyle movies.
I just kept heading south towards Zion, but saw a turn off for a small town that I can no longer recall the name of right now, which is a bit of a shame. I thought I might grab a cup of coffee if they had a diner, but it turns out they don't. Real small town, the lady said population 250. But I stopped off at the post office to ask some questions and talk to some people. The gal there talked with me for probably close to an hour and another gentalman joined us. She tried to convince me to drive back north four hours and ask her daughter on a date. Seeing as how we were both English major drop outs, obviously made for each other. The older guy offered me a place to park the van and some dinner if I needed it. It was a really nice day. She also asked for my e-mail address so she can keep tabs on me while I'm out here on the road.
Now, I'm at Zion Canyon, and am driving around trying to find a place to park for the night, but stopped to take a quick picture of one of the ridges, which you can see to the upper left. It's pretty warm here, and should be good sleeping, the only problem is finding a spot, since it's a touristy destination being that it's a national park, so everyone wants to make a buck off a place to let your car sit.
I don't know how long I'm going to stay here, I guess it mostly depends on how easy it is to find a place to park, and how little traffic passes by.
In Salt Lake City right now, hanging out at their gorgeous city library. Seriously, one of the nicest public libraries I've ever seen. Woke up this morning in Ogden, but realized that there is just too much moisture in the air this far north, and I don't want to get sick. I'm keeping plenty warm, but it's just not worth risking illness.
Talked to a guy at a gas station off the highway, he recommended checking out Zion National Park, and that's the second recommendation I've gotten for there in the past 24 hours, so I figured I'd take the advice. I've also learned that talking to highway/freeway gas station attendants can really be an enriching interaction. They see tons of people pass through every day, many of whom are no where near local. There is some intrinsic wisdom that must come with that. Anyway, the guy today was really excited when hearing about my journey, and has asked for my cell number so he can text me for updates to live vicariously through my adventure. Kind of a nice experience.
Anyway, I realized I forgot to put any money in the meter, and I don't really want a ticket, so I'm off. I'll update again in a day or two, or whenever I can catch internet service.
Also, the North Carolina deal is a no go, they found someone. And the package was a snake.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 4
Left Idaho yesterday afternoon. Had a great time in Sandpoint on Tuesday night. Thanks so much to the lovely Elsa Chambers for filling in as a last minute model for some of the promo shots, and the beautiful and talented Justin Herrmann for taking the photos.
Spent last night at a rest stop in Lima Montana. It was the coldest night of the three. I was fine inside the van, but the wind was roaring all night. Woke up to see icicles hanging from my front bumper. But every time I wake up and can't stand to be outside because of the temperature, yet am warm under the covers, I see as a good sign.
Got up and back on the road around 10 this morning, or 9 am for everyone in Pacific Standard. Drove straight down to Ogden Utah and arrived here a few hours ago. Hanging out at Weber County public library right now and checking some e-mails. I found a post on craigslist from someone here that needs something driven to their daughter in North Carolina, so I responded to the ad and told them so long as it was legal, and they cover my gas there, I'd be happy to make the trip. However, I'm not banking on it too much, since it's an ad on craigslist asking someone to drive a package across the country. Either way, nothing lost in checking it out.
I wanted to do an open mic night here in the next few days, but it looks as if I'll have to leave Ogden to do so. Salt Lake City is only a bit away, so if I can't find anything exciting here, I may just head down a few days early. You know, unless I'm on a postal service like treck to North Carolina.
I'm also posting one of the photos Justin shot on Tuesday, just want to make sure he gets credit.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Idaho
Got to Coeur d'Alene last night, wanted to do an open mic, but they do sign ups a week in advance, which makes no sense to me, but oh well, no big deal. Thanks to the girls for making me dinner last night, I appreciate your hospitality.
Spent the first night in the van, parked in an Albertsons parking lot in Hayden. Kept warm, with the exception of my left arm, since my sleeping version of self decided it best to hang it outside of the blankets and sleeping bag. Even with that, it wasn't too bad. It snowed too, so I figure if I can keep warm at that temperature, I should be solid gold as I start working South.
In Sandpoint, ID now. Getting ready to meet up with Justin Herrmann to figure out how we're going to do the photo shoot for the next Good Wives album.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Inventory
Books:
Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Pirsig
Life of Pi – Martel
Sons and Lovers – Lawrence
Breakfast at Tiffany's – Capote
Skinny Legs and All – Robbins
A Farewell to Arms – Hemingway
Beyond Good and Evil – Nietzsche
The God Delusion – Dawkins
The Plague – Camus
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man – Joyce
The Great Short Stories of De Maupassant – De Maupassant
The Idiot – Dostoevsky
Tropic of Cancer – Miller
Death on the Installment Plan – Celine
Welcome to the Monkey House – Vonnegut
Franny and Zooey – Salinger
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court – Twain
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Twain
Something Wicked This Way Comes – Bradbury
To Kill a Mockingbird – Lee
You Shall Know Our Velocity – Eggers
Good as Gold – Heller
Being There – Kosinski
Into the Wild – Krakauer
Tender is the Night – Fitzgerald
Clothes:
Five pair underwear
Seven pair socks
Two pair long underwear bottom
Two pair long underwear top
Three pair jeans
Five t-shirts
One pair sweatpants
One black hooded sweatshirt
One jean jacket
One peacoat
One flannel jacket
One field wool jacket
One dress shirt
One black tie
One suit
One dress sweatshirt
Two pair shoes
Foodstuff:
Canned Tuna
Vegetarian Chili
Granola Bars
Canned Beans
Oranges
Bottled Water
Instruments:
Acoustic Guitar
Vox Practice Amp
Casio Keyboard
Bass Guitar
Drum Machine
Shure SM58 (For shit venues that require you to have your own mic)
Writing Items:
Laptop
Composition Notepad
Misc.:
Deodorant
Two pair nail clippers
Toothpaste
Toothbrush
Mutli-Vitamin
Toilet paper
Handkerchief
Hair junk (so I can look like I purposefully am disheveled rather than living in a van)
Laundry detergent
Dryer sheets
Two packs of dental floss
Tabaco
Digital camera (batteries for such)
Sunglasses
Stocking cap
Two iPods
Cell phone
Chargers for iPods and Cell phone
Back up set of guitar strings
Remaining physical copies of Songs For White Girls With Body Image Issues
Black thread and needle
Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Pirsig
Life of Pi – Martel
Sons and Lovers – Lawrence
Breakfast at Tiffany's – Capote
Skinny Legs and All – Robbins
A Farewell to Arms – Hemingway
Beyond Good and Evil – Nietzsche
The God Delusion – Dawkins
The Plague – Camus
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man – Joyce
The Great Short Stories of De Maupassant – De Maupassant
The Idiot – Dostoevsky
Tropic of Cancer – Miller
Death on the Installment Plan – Celine
Welcome to the Monkey House – Vonnegut
Franny and Zooey – Salinger
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court – Twain
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Twain
Something Wicked This Way Comes – Bradbury
To Kill a Mockingbird – Lee
You Shall Know Our Velocity – Eggers
Good as Gold – Heller
Being There – Kosinski
Into the Wild – Krakauer
Tender is the Night – Fitzgerald
Clothes:
Five pair underwear
Seven pair socks
Two pair long underwear bottom
Two pair long underwear top
Three pair jeans
Five t-shirts
One pair sweatpants
One black hooded sweatshirt
One jean jacket
One peacoat
One flannel jacket
One field wool jacket
One dress shirt
One black tie
One suit
One dress sweatshirt
Two pair shoes
Foodstuff:
Canned Tuna
Vegetarian Chili
Granola Bars
Canned Beans
Oranges
Bottled Water
Instruments:
Acoustic Guitar
Vox Practice Amp
Casio Keyboard
Bass Guitar
Drum Machine
Shure SM58 (For shit venues that require you to have your own mic)
Writing Items:
Laptop
Composition Notepad
Misc.:
Deodorant
Two pair nail clippers
Toothpaste
Toothbrush
Mutli-Vitamin
Toilet paper
Handkerchief
Hair junk (so I can look like I purposefully am disheveled rather than living in a van)
Laundry detergent
Dryer sheets
Two packs of dental floss
Tabaco
Digital camera (batteries for such)
Sunglasses
Stocking cap
Two iPods
Cell phone
Chargers for iPods and Cell phone
Back up set of guitar strings
Remaining physical copies of Songs For White Girls With Body Image Issues
Black thread and needle
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I have my mode of transport/sleeping area
And will be leaving on Monday. I will post when I can about where I am and things I am doing.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Last new demo before I leave
I wanted to do something blown out that I can never play live. You know, just for the fun of it.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Since I have nothing else to do
I'm being very prolific in concerns to songwriting. Here's a new one.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Sharing The Load
Another new track. Something uptempo that will hopefully be fun to play live.
If you like it share it.
If you like it share it.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Eugene
I've moved all of my stuff out of Eugene now, and am one step closer to hitting the road. Hopefully off by next Friday. It was tough to go back this weekend, as it's just another in a long line of my failures. Though I'm turning the page at this point, I'm making sure to dogear it, as I hope to be able to return once I'm able and have some things figured out. I met a lot of great people during my short time there, and I don't want to remove any of you from my life. I wish you all the best, and hope you're still around when I'm more put together.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Trying To Get Used To This
Sorry to be killing with content, I just know that if I don't get in the practice of posting shit, I never will. Then this will have been a pointless endeavor. So I recorded a video of My Old Shirts last night, which is the second to last track on my forthcoming record I've been working on with Nic. As always, if you enjoy it, please repost elsewhere.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Middle Class Blues
I wrote my firt song of 2011 today, then tracked it. It's somewhat based on what I'm doing right now, or trying to do. I've posted it on my bandcamp page, which you can find in the below link. I'm selling it for a buck to try and raise money for this experience I'm about to embark upon. Even if you don't have the money, which is understandable, as I don't like to charge for this stuff myself, please fee free to listen. Also, I'd appreciate any repostings so that I may leach listeners from your set of friends.
If you can and wish to
I'm adding a paypal link if you'd like to or are able to donate towards keeping me on the road. I appreciate anything you can give.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I've lost my mind...
I'm going to try and find it. I'll be using this page to post updates that avoid the intimate details of my decline and hopeful resurrection for those that care to be kept in the know about what I'm doing. The majority of my posts are planned to be centered around my location at the time, photos of where I am, and maybe the occasional video. Who knows. I just know that I'm not much good for people right now, so communication will be spotty in a direct manor. I've got a lot to figure out right now, but please, trust me when I say this is for the better. I'm not running away from anything, I'm not looking to remove anyone from my life. I just have come to understand that I'm not well and haven't been for a long time and am overdue for figuring this out. There isn't any one person or any one event that has led to this. I'm just no longer able to smile and go through the motions. This is probably the most detailed I will be about what is going on with me right now.
I'm in Waterville with my parents for the time being. I will soon be setting out in an attempt to gain some perspective.
I'm in Waterville with my parents for the time being. I will soon be setting out in an attempt to gain some perspective.
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